Be Understanding, have no expectations. Be non Judgemental, loving and most of all be kind.
That’s easy for Buddha to say, he never got beat up. When you’re in a relationship that is not exactly the way you want it to be, how do you maintain your inner Buddha and keep the part of your mind that acts like Donald Trump at bay? Is there a way to achieve Buddha Mindset Mastery?
Honestly, with great difficulty…which is why I’m writing this blog. Not only as a teachable moment but also as a very personal reminder. I know you have been there too, because it’s simply part of the human existence, there is no avoiding this puppy. Lately it seems as though this theme has been exploding up in my world and apparently it has something to do with the planets, or so I’ve been told.
This boxing match may have come in the form of an insult, insinuation, rejection, physical attack or klutzy fall like the one I had 3 weeks ago that put me out of commission.
No matter who the assailant! Yes….even your husband’s workbag that appeared out of nowhere and the hardwood floor that jumped up at me and smacked my ass so bad I could barely sit for 2 weeks straight. No matter the presentation it’ll have impact on your mind, body and soul.
It’s Human Nature to feel pain.
It’s a sign that something needs to change. It’s an internal driver and motivator like no other. For me, when I’m in pain, it’s so much easier to lose my cool than when I am feeling well and balanced. Pain makes me want to attack, simply because I am feeling attacked. I can freak out, I mean go “Latina” on your ass, I’m hot blooded after all! I’m not proud of it but hey I’m only human. The only problem is I’ve noticed a consistent pattern in my life experiences with friends, family, business colleagues, patients, hardwood floors and even briefcases. When you feed the fire of pain it can become a voracious vicious cycle. Back and forth back and forth, with no resolution only leading to more pain for both parties. Poor Hardwood Floor!
Here’s my sage advice on how to Namaste rather than Be-nasty in the face of pain:
- Observe– First of all begin by observing your surroundings, perhaps the pain can be completely mitigated. Hello briefcase that normally isn’t in the middle of the hallway!!!! I don’t need to trip over you.
- Be like Buddha– When pain does happen, take yourself immediately onto the Mountain top in your Mind. For me this is my higher ground and my safe place. I use it to take a pause or a break to calm down and BREATH! (also works great for anxiety!) This will clear your mind so you can think like a Buddha rather than a Bengal Tiger – sit there for a 10 minute minimum.
- Walk in their Bare Feet- Pain makes the bottom of your feet raw, so note anything you say will irritate the wound more than it would if you or the other party where in a balanced place. Think of where they are coming from before you say things, be understanding of their point of view, you don’t know their past experiences that could make something you say or do be really bad. “Everyone just constantly walks all over me, and then you fall and blame it all on me, I’m the one who is constantly treated badly!” Said the hardwood floor after my fall on him.
- Drown the Diva- but express yourself honestly– Going “latina” on anybody makes no sense except if you want Trump to bust out another bomb. Ya, I am super passionate but that is no excuse for loosing your cool and blowing up.
- Buddha the Bully– In case you didn’t exactly embody the Buddha but were more of a bully don’t make things worse by beating up on yourself. Self-depreciation does nothing to improve the situation. You aren’t Buddha yet, but your intent is there, keep on trying and just don’t give up. Things will get better.
Keep these five steps in mind, when the planets are out of alignment and pain seems to be the phrase of the day. Buddha took years to get where he got, so did all the other spiritual leaders of our time like Nelson Mandela and Mother Theresa. These amazing people changed our world by changing themselves as people and leading by example. By changing ourselves and aiming to master the Buddha Mindset we too can have a major impact on our world and those around us.
With love, Kindness compassion, Caring and non-judgment I’m here for you always.